Nicole: Ya, Apparently you guys had a dissuasion about if you can decide who you fall in live with, what is your opinion on that?
me: I'm the one who started that And no, I don't think you can
Nicole: I think you do a little.Because the guys you hang you with you will like And you will know If that makes any sense...
me: See, you can't control you truely fall in love with... If a girl falls in love with another girl, it's not her choice. Yes you can decide if you want to be with them, but you can't pick and choose who u fall in love with
Nicole: But you have a general choice. Because you pick who you hang with
me: Yes u choose who you hang around, but that's different then love. That's like saying you'll walk into a room of ppl you don't know and say "I will never love any of you"
Nicole: Ummmm But you like, then love the people around you
me: Friend love and Love love are to different things
Nicole: Ok...?
me: You love a friend different then when you FALL IN LOVE. For a friend it's a warm, I'll always be there for you, protect you kind of love. But with falling in love, it's more of a, I wanna spend every day I can with you, every second, I wanna be with you forever, I always think about you kind of thing
Nicole: I agree
me: And I don't think you can choose that, sure it can start as a friend love, but it can always get stronger
Nicole: True
me: :)
Nicole: :-D
me: So now you see my opinion
Nicole: Yup I do loud and clear :-P
5 comments:
What is this "falling in love" of which you speak?
Is this a feeling?
It's a pure emotion, a true emotion, and we can not control it whether we like it or not
From my experience I would say that I would kind of agree with both you and Nicole. We are more likely to develop feelings for a person that we spend a lot of time around. Those initial feelings could be an intense like, an attraction of sorts. We find that we click with that person, that we have "romantic" feelings for that person. And this initial intense feeling can take us by surprise, kind of sneak up on us. But what we do have a choice on what we do with that feeling, whether we allow it to develop further, whether we choose to pursue the person we have these feelings for. Or we can choose to push those feelings aside for a variety of different reasons. BUT LOVE... that is a much bigger story. One does not fall in love... love is an action and choice... a journey of many actions and choices. It is not something that just happens by chance.
I think there are two "loves"
1 An emotional hormonal feeling that is not necessarily true. It is caused by what you tell yourself, I tell myself that I am not interested in a love relationship of any kind and I have only ever felt a vague interest in boys. If I had told my self that I was desperate for a relationship etc. I would probably have been in several serious crushes already.
2 A choice. you choose to be kind loving and patient with a person you choose not to fight serious 'feelings' you choose to wake up each day and think "I love so and so"
Emotion and feelings are the same by dictionary definition. I think they are temporary. I know that the feeling of "falling in love" does not last. It does not become the kind of committed love that makes a marriage last.
I believe we choose who we hang around with. I believe we choose who we fall in love with. (If you tell yourself that you're different and the world tells you that different means gay and you choose to believe that different means gay - that's a choice.) I believe we choose who we love love as well.
I believe that I have free will. I also know that I use that free will to make terrible decisions sometimes and I wish I could say I had no choice.
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